I was talking with my “mentor” this morning over a Starbucks latte and we were talking about leadership…

who defines leadership?

what does leadership look like?

what do leaders look like?

as we were talking i realized that we have this image of “who” or “what” a leader is….what they look like, what they dress like, how they talk.

so, who do you think defines leadership and what do leaders look like?

It is interesting to my how much twitter has taken off.

i have realized that i use it more than i use the blog….i am sorry about the lack of posting….

i am leaving today to drive to ATL with our Worship School to go to 722 and hang out in the ATL for a day.

so if you would like to keep up with me you can follow me at my twitter

have a good day.

To my mothers. This is for the 2 signifigant women in my life. I don’t brag on people too often, but as I was thinking of what to do for these women a sweet card would be uncharacteristic for me. So I thought I would acknowledge them on here.

my real mom- mom, I know we don’t always agree but you have influenced me in so many ways. You have shown me what it looks like to love when you are hurt or mad. You have shown me how to serve other people when you want to be served. The many years you volunteered your time when there was not much time. And over the past 2 years you have displayed what it looks like to be determined to get through something that is not fair. You don’t give up. You are a strong woman and have shown me how to be the same. I love you and wished that you lived closer to me. Thank you for loving me through the years and my life decisions and changes. You have loved me more than anyone. And as much as I would like to deny it you know me the best. I love you!

Gina (my local mom) - Gina, over the past year and a half you have poured into my life and held me up when I was confused and wanted to quit. You have embraced me into your family and “adopted”me because my family is so far away. You have shown me how to work hard and love the truth more than anything. Your influence in my life has been huge. Your words of encouragment as I go through an uncomfortable process has kept me strong. Thank you for loving me as one of your children. Thank you for your display of love and faithfulness to your family.

To both of you women I love you more than you may know and thank you for being who you have been designed to be.

Happy Mother’s Day!

i have been thinking a lot lately, a little more than normal.

i have been thinking about relationships and people in my life and how i react and respond to people.

i am realizing that i can be very shut off towards people. or very open. so the more i have been thinking about this the more i realize that inside of me each person i know and associate with has a switch in my life. a switch that when “on” i let them in and talk to them openly, and when “off” i am literally shut off to them.

through all of this thinking i am realizing that it is very easy for me to shut people off in my life. if i feel like the relationship is one sided or you are not meeting expectations that i have set for you….or if you said or did something that hurt me i shut you off. just like that…you are turned off in my life.

it is so unhealthy. it gives the enemy major say in my life. because relationships are hard, they require work. people will let you down….but you cant shut them off. or you will end up alone.

do you have people on switches in your life?

This is the post that i read that made me start blogging. it was like some wierd altar call to get me off of the back row and into the game. I was a seeker when i read this in August of 2006 on Carlos’ blog. it is now May of 2008 and i think that i am an Evangelist. Though i have been acting more like a believer and being in need of “redidicating” my life i thought it would be fun to share what started the dream and vision of www.lynseleanne.com.

Thank you to Carlos for writing this…for several reasons.

The Evangelists
These are the zealots. They preach blogging like Salvation may be found. They check their stats a few times a day. They blog multiple times a day. They convert one new blogger a day. A lunch will not be had without some pitch about blogging being able to change ones life. From the very core. They know more about your life than you do. They Digg everyday. They YouTube everyday. They comment on 20 blogs at a time in order to stay in the loop. They read blogs only in RSS readers. More than likely, they have had a marital argument about blogging. I am one of these.

The Believers
These are the blogging faithful. They believe that there is TRUE community in this stuff. They post almost everyday. They comment a lot. They try to grow their blogs. They try to actually have relationships. They pick up the phone and CALL other bloggers. They see the future of communication existing in a large way through blogs. Probably to their fault. But none the less, they blog. Their motto is, “Blogging is fun, Blogging is phat, Link to me, and I’ll link you back.”

The Seekers
These are the back row Baptists. They are blogging every couple of days. They look at the blogging believers like they are nuts. They play it safe and keep it pretty narrative in their posts. They wonder what is it about this blogosphere that can help them. They definitely don’t want to be like the Evangelists, but maybe becoming a believer wouldn’t be so bad. They READ blogs daily. Searching. For something. They feel involved when in “Blogging Conversations”. They don’t think blogging is fun. They still have a MySpace. It is almost a chore. But they blog.

The Lost
These are the ones who still ask…”Whats a Blog?”

The Atheists
These are the ones who feel persecuted by the bloggers. “Why must they (bloggers) ALWAYS talk about it? They must have watched You’ve Got Mail one too many times.” They will NEVER blog. They will NEVER read a blog. They make fun of all who do. They make me nervous.

what is the post or the blog that got you started?
for me it was Carlos at Ragamuffin Soul….

Do you ever feel 100% fake?

like each day you get up one person and by the time you walk out the door you are someone else? you are fake, you talk different…and by the end of the day you realize that you have said things like “I will pray for you” or “God bless” and you know that you wont pray for them, and i am sure God will bless them, but i am not a “god blesser” kind of person.

that is how i feel right now. at the end of the day i feel fake.

right now i am a fake….are you?

I am in the middle of a process. I hate “the process.”It takes too long for my liking.

But because the process grows and shapes me and my character I can handle it.

There are some things that have happened to me in the past that I have dealt with to the point that I could at the time, but I am dealing with these things at a more intimate level.

In the past when some of these things were on the forefront of my mind I let myself be down. I would let myself be depressed. I got into very unhealthy thought patterns and picked up unhealthy habits.

As I sit here in church Pastor Chris shared a verse from Deuteronomy. The main point is “now choose life”.

In this process I can choose to get down, or I can choose life. I can recognize that this process will give hope and joy to others.
I am encouraged to pursue this process, the pain and the triumph.

So choose life. Choose joy.

Plain and simple,

does influence scare you?

why? why not?

i have been thinking a lot. thinking about everything and anything. today my thoughts have revolved around spiritual and physical health.

honestly, i have neglected both in the past while. discipline is not a strong suit for me. unless i have exterior accountability i wont do it….but i have been thinking about the importance of both spiritual and physical health.

the bible says that you are to be “ready in season and out of season” meaning i should have spent time in the word. i need to be spending more time and focusing on my spiritual health.

and i have not worked out since i graduated 24/7 in 2006. i need to. i have not gained weight, but i am not healthy. i know it. i feel it.

so here is the question i pose to you….which is first that i need to work on.

physical or spiritual?

about 4 years ago i moved to Birmingham, AL.

on the outside i was excited. i couldnt wait to have a new adventure. but inside it was the lowest i have ever been. I had secrets, i was lying. i was living in darkness and looking at everyone around me that was living in light. which took me more into the darkness that i had created for myself.

the family i lived with was awesome. he was the prayer guy and his wife was so sweet. but inside i was dying.

There is this spot that i drove past every night on my way home. it is a sharp curve to the left and to the right, in the ditch there is a thick cement pole. each night as i would drive past this spot i would tell myself that the next time is when i would do it, i would wreck my car. i had unplugged my airbags and just needed the courage to not break or turn.

in hindsight, i am so glad that i didnt ever get the courage that i was praying for.

now each night as i drive home i drive past the same spot i smile.

last night on my drive home to my husband i saw this pole, and had no desire. i teared up with joy and sadness. joy because i was no longer there, and sadness because i know that there are so many people who are, and i know the deep, dark feelings that they feel.

i remember the feeling of “this will never get better. or no one would even notice or care if i did it.”

i am blessed that through the grace of God i spoke up about my secret….about my pain.

and 4 years on the other side i love my life. my excitement externally matches internally.